I have been debating all week whether or not to post on Facebook how I feel about 50 Shades of Grey. I hate that I have even put that much thought into it, but I feel like I have to. I've been seeing so many posts about people excited for tomorrow's opening for the movie. Just know that I am the kind of person who can totally have a different opinion than someone and it doesn't mean we can't be friends. I mean - if we can't be friends because of my opinion of 50 shades I suppose that's the bigger issue....but I digress.
So a little history: 50 shades was written by a woman who was obsessed with Twilight. It was fan fiction people - she wrote it as a "sexy times with Edward and Bella" kinda thing. I read the first one because; like most things pop culture I like to understand something for myself before I have an opinion. Aside from the fact that it's the worst written work of fiction I have ever laid eyes on, I was surprised that my friends found it so titilating. Do most women not watch porn? Again I digress....
So now that the Twilight movies are over, those pre-teen girls who once flocked to watch Bella and Edward in all their vampire bliss are now teen girls obsessed with Anastasia and Christian. This is the audience that will be seeing 50 Shades this weekend and this is precisely what troubles me.
They see this relationship as something they wish they had - if only they could find a guy like Christian Grey. I don't have a daughter but if I did I would be terrified if she thought this relationship was something to strive for. Let's be real: Dude is threatening, controlling, jealous, abusive in the bedroom (ignores her safe words amongst a million other sexual acts she's not ready for but he wants)...the list goes on....
Yet women have their panties in a bunch why? Oh because he's good looking, rich as hell, powerful?
Listen there's a million articles you can read that also agree that 50 Shades is the epitome of an abusive relationship - all the red flags are there. This article in Elephant Journal is my favorite. It really explains the difference between BDSM and what goes down in this book. I think it's a good education for people who aren't aware and think that what goes up in the book is proper BDSM etiquette.
I am not the book police and I am 100% not judging anyone who enjoys these books (ok maybe a little) but what I'm saying is please open your minds to realize what message the relationship in this book is romanticizing.
Let's stop perpetuating the myth that all women want to be dominated - it's old and it's tired. Let's educate girls about what a healthy relationship is and show her the difference between love and unhealthy obsession and control.