Adam and I decided on a whim Sunday night that we should catch the Kubrick Retrospective at the LACMA before it closes (turns out it has been extended until the end of July). I was excited to get out of the house and do something and also very excited to take Chico to the museum for the first time. Then the "what if's" started in my head.
What if he starts crying and it echoes throughout the galleries? What if someone gives us a dirty look or asks why we brought an infant to a museum? What if he lets out one of his monumental farts and people give us major side eye?
These are exactly the kind of "what if's" that keep me home so often. I am trying to have a more carefree attitude and get out of the house once a day, even if it's just to go to Starbucks. I already had a really intense homebody tendency pre-baby and it could easily encompass my life if I let it. So I will fight it - because I know it's best for me to even when it feels like the last thing on Earth I want to do.
I am getting more and more used to the planning that goes into taking a major outing with a newborn. I am much better at knowing if we are "baby prepared," but still working out the kinks of "mama preparedness." Getting dressed is no longer an activity that only involves "looking good," because now it has to be functional as well. What nursing bra do I choose to wear with this top? Should I wear a tank underneath this top so that when I breast feed him I won't be exposing my gut? Also I'll be wearing a wrap of some sort - will what I'm wearing only make me hot and sweaty under the wrap? Will Chico be hot and uncomfortable strapped to me in said outfit? Oh and jewelry and accessories - forget it. All they do is get caught on him, the wrap, pose a potential scratch hazard and or come too close to his face or mouth when I'm holding him. Wedding ring only these days.
So yeah it's an adjustment for me. But I feel like I'm not doing too bad only 3 months in. We had a fabulous day and once Chico got fussy in the stroller we swapped him into his Ergo and he fell right asleep. We even ate lunch at the museum afterwards and aside from a diaper change/feeding debacle it went smoothly. I'm getting more comfortable with breast feeding in public, which has also been harder than I thought it would be for me. Depending on the place, there are times I just feel so exposed and vulnerable even though I know in my head I am doing the right thing for my baby. As most women would attest - you spent puberty forward with your breasts being sexual objects and it's difficult to separate that now that I use them in a utilitarian fashion. Luckily Adam is very supportive and reassuring which makes every part of this that much easier. We decided we are going to try to do something fun like this every Monday to encourage both of us to get our butts out of the house and into the world!
Baby in his first piece of art - literally!
A Clockwork Orange - starring me and Chico. Notice his eyes peering over the Ergo like "Ehem, Papa are you really letting her do this?"
You may not be able to tell, but Full Metal Jacket is Adam's favorite movie (only after You've Got Mail of course!).
Lolita film images through a magnifying glass.
Jack's Adler typewriter from The Shining.
The Twins! These are the dresses they actually wore in the movie.
Not from the Kubrick Retrospective...