I remember the first time I heard the phrase "Push Present." I was highly confused and thought the name was borderline vulgar (really, a present for "pushing" out an infant?). It just sounded like another consumer/capitalistic ploy for women to put pressure on their partners to get them something expensive.
Fast forward to my current life. I made mention of the term and my husband had never heard of it either. When I informed him of the definition he thought it was equally silly ... but then in the same breath said he would want to get me something when I gave birth to his child someday.
This is what is touching about my husband. He does kind things because he WANTS to, not because he's pressured to. I'm just not that type of girl. If you know me you know that I never owned a designer purse, any sort of diamonds, etc. before meeting and being spoiled by my amazing husband. I didn't know what a "carat" meant or anything else about that world. My husband picked out my wedding ring on his own because he's awesome like that.
I had read a blog post about Push Presents on the blog "Renegade Mothering," and thought it was a little "obvious." The writer's point is that a piece of jewelery cannot "make up" for the fact that she now pees when she sneezes and has saggy tits. She adds that she would prefer her husband, "Love me. Go to work. Don’t cheat. Wash the fucking dishes."
Well duh. Obviously. Jesus Christ - isn't that part of the deal when you are in a relationship with someone? To love them, be faithful (unless otherwise agreed upon) and to share daily life responsibilities? If your partner feels moved to get you something special after you've given birth to his child can't it be just that?
Should you ask or put pressure on someone to get you a Push Present? Hell no! But if you do that, you are probably the type of girl who drops obnoxious hints about wanting expensive bags and shoes all the time too.
Adam took my wedding rings to "get cleaned" last week so that when I can wear them again (my rings are currently too tight to wear due to pregnancy water retention) they'd be nice and shiny. When he came home and gave me the box to "see how nicely they cleaned them" there was a new, third band in the box.
Surprises like this are what make me fall in love with my husband more and more every day. It has nothing to do with the fact that he got me diamonds. What makes my heart explode is that he had been putting money aside months ago because he wanted to get me something to show his appreciate for me after I gave birth to our son. It's the thought and the sentiment behind a gift that makes it great. Not the price tag.
Push Present debate - rage on.